Chemical dpendancy, a family illness

The following twenty questions should be answered by family members and/or significant others with as much honesty as possible.

Cultural issues, job dynamics, family constellation and early childhood recollection will be addressed in the sessions.

1. Have you ever lost sleep because of a chemically dependent person?
2. Have most of your thoughts revolved around the chemically dependent person or have problems arisen because of him or her?
3. Have you exacted promises about drinking or use of drugs and/or alcohol which are not kept?
4. Did you make threats or decisions and them not follow through with them?
5. Has your attitude changed towards this person (alternating between love and hate)?
6. Have you marked hid, diluted and/or emptied bottles of liquor or medication or thrown out what you believed to be illicit drugs?
7. Did you think that everything would be OK, if only the problem drinker or user would either stop or control his/her drinking or use of drugs?
8. Did you in the past, or do you still, feel alone, fearful, anxious, angry, and/or frustrated most of the time? Are you beginning to feel dislike for yourself and to wonder about your sanity?
9. Do you find your moods fluctuating wildly, -- as a direct result of the chemically dependent person’s mood as actions?
10. Do you feel any responsibility or guilt about the use of drugs and/or alcohol?
11. Have you in the past, or do you now, try to conceal, deny or protect the chemically dependent person from family, associates, employers, or governmental and law enforcement agencies?
12. Have you withdrawn form outside activities and friends or family because of embarrassment and shame over the problem?
13. Have you taken over many chores and duties that you would normally expect the chemically dependent person to assume or that were formerly his/hers?
14. Do you feel forced to try to exert tight control over the family expenditures with less and less success – and are financial problems increasing?
15. Do you feel the need to justify your actions and attitudes, and at the same time, feel somewhat smug and self-righteous compared to the chemically dependent person?
16. If there are children in the home, do they often take sides with either the chemically dependent person or the spouse?
17. Are the children showing signs of emotional stress, such as withdrawing, having trouble with authority figures, rebelling, acting-out sexually, having trouble with school?
18. Have you noticed physical symptoms in yourself, such as nausea, a "knot in the stomach", ulcers, shakiness, sweating palms, bitten fingernails, emotional blackouts, headaches, or an unexplained increase in the number and type of physical complaints?
19. Where this applies, if your sexual relationship with the chemically dependent person affected by feelings of revulsion; or do you use sex in an attempt to manipulate or punish the chemically dependent person?
20. Do you feel utterly defeated – that nothing you can say or do will make any differences or move the chemically dependent person? Do you believe that he/she cannot get better?

A "yes" to any three of these questions indicates that a problem exists and is producing negative changes in the person answering them.